Choreography or not for your First Dance?

Quite Possibly!  But it’s not your only option.  First off, we understand why a lot of people would want choreography for their first wedding dance.  It would certainly be comforting to get up in front of all of your guests on your wedding day and know you can rely on a specific pattern of steps when you begin your first dance.  If you carefully rehearse every detail of your first wedding dance, that could go a long way in helping you feel confident that you'll hit all the great moments you want to highlight in your wedding song.

A choreographed first wedding dance can have some drawbacks though.  Picture this:  take a step forward with your left foot then sidestep to the right.  Now pivot counterclockwise while you close your feet together.  Was that clear?  

We didn't think so either.  You can choreograph your first wedding dance and come up with a solid plan but you don't have to be an experienced dancer to know that things don't always work out according to plan.  Your wedding is going to be a huge day!  You're going to have a lot on your mind besides your wedding dance.  If you and your partner find yourselves up in front of your friends and family trying to remember the minutia of your choreography, you'll run the risk of getting caught up in executing the steps and forgetting how to move.  Footwork does not equal dance.  If your instructors fail to emphasize this, they're pandering to you.  

How can you avoid these pitfalls during your first dance?  Well, consider an improvisational leading and following format. By learning to lead and follow, you don’t have to worry as much about accidentally making the wrong moves at the wrong times.  Improvising will teach you to dance as if you were having a conversation:  there are no wrong moves or wrong times just communication and playfulness.   If you learn to improvise you may not have the comfort of know exactly what to do and when to do it, but you will be able to express spontaneity in the moment.  And you’ll be paying attention to each other on your big day.

But there are some drawbacks to improvising for your first wedding dance as well.  For one, you’ll have to pay a lot of attention to each other on your big day, and let’s face it, sometimes that's a pro and sometimes that's a con for all of us.  If partner dance is all about communication, then it’s possible to miscommunicate in partner dance too and miscommunications can cause you to slip up.   Also, if you learn to partner dance you risk getting caught up in the adrenaline and joy to remember to show off all those fancy moves you worked on for your first dance.  Your guests may not know the difference, but you will.

We’re not trying to convince you one way or another about choreographing your first dance.  We just want to make sure that if you DO decide to choreograph your first wedding dance, you’re doing it for the right reasons!